One-on-Ones That Change Tuesdays

A good one-on-one turns a regular Tuesday into a better one. Not because you gave a speech. Because you made work clearer and lighter for one person.

My format (20 minutes)

• Pulse (5): “What’s on your mind?” Let them go first. If they say “all good,” ask, “What’s one thing that would make this week easier?”

• Work (10): blockers, decisions, tradeoffs. “What’s the hardest part of your job right now?” “What help would make it easier?”

• Growth (5): “What skill do you want to practice next week?” Small, practical, immediate.

Why 20 minutes?

Because we all fill the container. Sixty minutes invites drift; ten minutes invites rush. Twenty is a focused conversation that still respects the day.

What I write down

Two lines: one promise I made, one promise they made. Example: “I’ll get you access to the analytics dashboard by Thursday. You’ll shadow Sam’s handoff on Wednesday.” Then I keep my promise. Trust compounds on kept promises.

Tricky scenarios

• The talker: set the frame up front: “I’ll time us so we cover pulse, work, growth.” Use gentle interrupts: “Let me reflect back what I heard—did I get it?”

• The silent one: bring a prompt: “Show me a screenshot/photo of where you got stuck.” Artifacts unlock words.

• The therapy 1:1: care, but steer: “I want this to be useful. Let’s find one action that changes this week, then we can circle back.”

Remote teams

Turn video on when it helps, off when it doesn’t. If bandwidth or time zones fight you, trade one 1:1 a month for a written reflection: “What energized you? What drained you? One thing to start/stop/continue.” Respond in writing, then discuss the highlights live next time.

Cadence

Biweekly works for most. Weekly for new hires or people in stretch roles. Monthly for veterans who hum. Consistency matters more than frequency. Missed 1:1s erode trust faster than bad ones.

Measure success

1:1s are working when problems surface earlier, decisions move faster, and your follow-through rate is high. If your 1:1s feel like the “status update you could’ve read,” you’re doing the wrong meeting. Make it a coaching session, not a report.

One good 1:1 can straighten a whole week. It’s the quietest high-leverage habit I know.